More like me then DNA

Wordless Wednedsday Blog.

Happy Mother’s Day x 2

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL you current and future moms out there!

I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to BOTH of my mothers….the mother I call ”mom” that adopted me, and the mother that gave birth to me and at 3 days old said, “goodbye.” Thanks to my own journey of adopting, my mother of birth has come into my mind more and more. For the last several years I have actually got a chance to grieve my loss of her, and at the same time recognize her and value her in my heart too. This is the first Mother’s Day, that I can recall, where I’ve thought of her, yet alone wrote and shared openly about her.

So here’s what I know about her:
1. She wanted me to be adopted by a Seventh-Day Adventist couple.
2. She loved music and asked that I have some exposure to it.
3. She loved me enough to let me go.

It’s not much, but it is all I have…I don’t know what she looks like, if she was or ever got married, if I ever had any brothers and sisters…the list goes on and on, and it sits side by side with the feelings of hurt, sadness, lonliness, and anger. The DNA that circulates in my body is the only physical connection I have had with her since those early days of my life. The DNA part actually turns out to be pretty huge, since without that you wouldn’t be reading this and I would not be part of this world’s history, or anyone else’s that is in my life. But what is new and growing in me is the emotional and spiritual connection toward her that I feel via acceptance, openmindedness, understanding, and LOVE (“self-less” – sort of like what a mother has). It appears she HAS taught me something. So Happy Mother’s Day to YOU, whoever and wherever you are, and THANK-YOU for your love and gift.

Now…meet MY MOM (my gift):

                      

The mom of God’s choosing was a young lady named Julie. She and I, along with the rest of my family are the recipients of “the gift”, each other. The picture on the left is about 12 years before I would meet her in 1968, but as you can tell she is every bit as beautiful today as the picture on the right shows. Mom’s warm heart and spirit has always sought to ease the hurt and abandonment, that as an adopted child I felt, whether she or I knew it or not. Things were different in 1968 relating to adoptions and now we both get to do it again with Mateo and Kaia. I get to learn from her AND my experience. I love her for that and so much more.

 Here is what I know about my Mom:
1. She chose to be my Mom.
2. She loves to laugh and enjoy life, despite it’s pains and heartaches.
3. She loves people and has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and taught me about both.
4. She loves music and passed that on to me.
5. She loves me enough to let me go, and be my own person….knowing that God has got me.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

Here’s a video of Anita Renfroe – comedian, author, and mom, and it is just perfect for Mother’s Day. Enjoy!

the “good” and “bad” news of last weekend…

I don’t really know where to start so I just will…bad news 1st…WE LOST!

WE? WE! Saturday we (me, Pearlie, and every other Cardinals fan) experienced the disappointment.
CUBS 9 – CARDINALS 3

OK, that’s where the bad news ends and in reality, despite winning being the purpose of baseball, Pearlie and I had a blast cheering on our beloved St. Louis Cardinals. Check out my Flickr pics for a chance to see the fun we experienced. I can’t wait to share with Mateo and Kaia my love for baseball. I must have mentioned it to Pearlie at least a dozen times how I wished they were there. Anyway…more good news to go along with all the fun we had was after the weekend series we are still in 1st place in our division and won the weekend series 2-1…and as far as I’m concerned and Cubs fans know this as a FACT: THE CURSE STILL LIVES!  Here is photo proof:

“the world’s smallest cone”

A date with my wife Pearlie, to Baskin Robbins, is still just as fun 20 years later. It possibly could be the world’s smallest ice cream cone, I really don’t know of any proof I have to back my statement made in the video….so if you think you or someone you love has eaten the world’s smallest ice cream cone that’s cool….good for you. Please know that ice cream cones can “take awhile to eat“, but eventually, if taken too long to eat, they will melt and then can no longer be called ice cream. It is then classified unofficially as a drink, once melted, and the period to drink the “ice cream” is extended until spoiled or no longer tastes “safe”.

Credits:
starring: Pearlie (my wife)
appearances : Jeff (me), and Baskin Robbins guy
song: ICE CREAM! – Michael Hearst
*video made with EnV cellphone*

I like to skip.

Friday I realized something. I like to skip. You know – run and hop – like you did when you were a kid…at least I did it as a kid. I don’t ever remember skipping as a child when I was in a bad mood or was upset about something. So here I am finding myself doing this skipping thing more lately. We have a long hallway at Southern Hills Medical Center that is seen in my Nurse Anesthesia video that  I have been known to skip up and/or down on occasion. People will say stuff like, “were you just skipping?” or “why are you skipping?” Initially, I didn’t realize I was doing it. I just knew it got me from point A to point B quickly – turns out it really is an effective way to move. But now, I know when I’m doing it and I like it, so therefore I do it more often. People don’t comment on it as much any more. They just smile and say something like, “Jeff’s skipping again”, or “Jeff, must be in a good mood…he’s skipping.” And that brings me to yesterday…I was talking to God, releasing some potential resentments, and asking Him, “Where could I be of service?” all at the same time to collectively ease my frustration I was feeling at the moment. I prayed and I prayed. No expectation…just faith. God will find a way to show His plan if I just get out of the way and BE OF SERVICE. Now folks, as I’m alive and breathing, that is not something I have had a lot of experience with. Oh, yeah, I’ve given the lip service to God. And yes, things have “worked out” after I’ve handed them over to God, but not like this day. This day was different. So here I was getting out of my truck and heading into the hospital, after the last 15 minutes of letting it go via prayer, I found myself feel the urge. Yes…the urge that I remembered as a kid. No lie, I felt light as feather and ahead of me was yards and yards of smooth sidewalk….PERFECT FOR SKIPPING. I would love to show you a picture of my freedom filled moment that was God’s gift to me as a reminder of my youth and the passion of a little boy to play, have fun, and living life with a smile on his face. But sorry, it’s really hard to take a self portrait while skipping and I didn’t think to look for someone to ask. There I was, a kid again, and I felt it….really!! It was so cool. I skipped and I skipped all the way down that sidewalk until I hit the back entrance door. I walked in free of my resentment. Free of my frustration and “whatever” that had tried to mess with my serenity and peace. I was able to serve where I was needed and be cool with it all. That is really ALL I’ve ever wanted…to just be cool with it all. What a blessing. What a gift it is…to SKIP. Try it sometime and see how it feels. I bet you already know.

niece and nephew
Addie Reese & Braden Zapp

seriously…i want a mac!

7 months until the big 4-0.
August 30….here I come.
I don’t think I’ve ever looked forward to a birthday more.
I don’t think I look or act like I’m going to be 40 either - so am I really?
I want a MAC…I hope Pearlie reads this!!!
Here’s why  - ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓