The Shack...and me.
There are many books that I can think of that have influenced me…helped to shape my life…and opened up my mind to new ideas and events through other people’s eyes. A few examples that come to my mind are:
1. The Voice of the Heart – Chip Dodd
2. Band of Brothers – Steven Ambrose
3. Deep Survival – Laurence Gonzales
4. Steps to Christ – Ellen G. White
5. Tuesdays with Morrie – Mitch Albom
6. Alcoholics Anonymous – Bill W. (inspired by)
7. The Bible – God (inspired by)
The Shack is now added to my short (but never ending) list of “reference-back-to” books. These books are the ones, as life unfolds, I get to relate the experience with a new and different perspective thanks to an author’s insight that sparks growth and introspective thought and feeling, and apply some new tools to live. This is not a review or book report of The Shack but more of a testimonial of what jumped out at me. So here are some excerpts from the book that had meaning to me, my take on them, and how they touched me. I hope to not give away anything about the book, but it is possible I am, but nonetheless, read it for yourself and see what comes up for you. This book has the potential to knock down some walls of belief, that you may or may not have questioned in the past. Openmindedness was the key to my reading of this book…and God took care of the rest.
“Life takes a bit of time and a lot of relationship.” (p. 92) – This hit home for me because too often I want what I want, when I want it and most of the time relationships are involved and I need to remember that they take time and I have no control over time…except for the moment. And my job with the moment is to just live in it.
“I often find that getting head issues out of the way first makes the heart stuff easier to work on later…when (I’m) ready.” (p. 93) – WOW! That is so true, in my own experience. Sorry I can’t explain, you will just have to walk through your own. The book I noted above called Voice of the Heart is one of the best books I’ve read to center my life to being lived from my heart (with less head). My head to me is not valuable or important, it what keeps me safe and it has its place as I recall knowledge and information on a daily basis….But…But, my heart is where I desire to live from, because that’s where God lives. My heart teaches me to feel my feelings, tell the truth, and trust in the process.
“…you’re going to find this day a lot easier if you simply accept what is, instead of trying to fit it into your preconceived notions.” (p. 119) – This goes back to the head/heart thing I mentioned above. My head tells me to fit “something” into my mind’s eye, based on my experience, genetics, family dynamics, education, etc. (preconceived notions), but my heart, if its centered in Christ (or the God of your understanding) opens and accepts new things about God and the world he has created for me to live and succeed.
“Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved. Because you do not know that I love you, you cannot trust me.” (p. 126) – Trust in my life starts with me and God and grows out from there into other relationships. If God and I are not cool with trust than me and Pearlie, me and my friends and family, and all other relationships in my life suffer from fear, insecurity, control, self-centeredness, because I then look to myself to fill ALL my needs because I don’t trust anyone else with them. I know others will disappoint and they are not perfect, but God is and if I stay close to Him, everyone else looks more and more “healthy” and trustworthy.
“It is your desperate attempt to get some control over something you can’t. It is impossible for you to take power over the future because it isn’t real, nor will it ever be real. You try and play God, imagining the evil that you fear becoming reality, and then you try and make plans and contingencies to avoid what you fear…So why do I have so much fear in my life? Because you don’t believe. You don’t know that we (the Trinity) love you. The person who lives by their fears will not find freedom in my love. I am not talking about the rational fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projection of those into the future. To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it; you talk about it, but you don’t know it.” (p. 142) – Fear is unavoidable in life, I recognize that. What I want today is to stop trying to control my life based on fear of…whatever. If you’re reading this and thinking, “I don’t have problems with control or wanting to manage everything,” I would say, you probably have no idea how much you really try to manage via yourself. Thanks to a culture that rewards people for being SELF-sufficient, time creative, and management rewarding the idea of being “good” at this is a positive rather than a negative. The line is so fine to me that I can not give an accurate analysis for me…but others can. God teaches me to be less me and more Him and practicing that day after day, makes a wonderful habit become a part of my life.
“The world is broken because in Eden you abandoned relationship with us to assert you own independence. Most men have expressed it by turning to the work of their hands and the sweat of their brow to find their identity, value, and security. By choosing to declare what’s good and evil you seek to determine your own destiny. It was this turning that has caused so much pain. (And related to women)…have turned from us to another relationship, while men turned to themselves and the ground. The world, in many ways, would be a much calmer and gentler place if women ruled. There would have been far fewer children sacrificed to the gods of greed and power.” (p. 146, 147, & 148) – Again relationship(s). This book is filled with jewels about relationships that cause me to think about why I do what I do and some of the choices that seem to come from deep inside of me. Knowing that I don’t have to “give into” my genetics, but can choose the right thing is real freedom to me.
“I’m not too big on religion, Jesus said a little sarcastically, and not very fond of politics or economics either. Jesus’ visage darkened noticeably. And why should I be? They are the man-created trinity of terrors that ravages the earth and deceives those I care about. What mental turmoil and anxiety does any human face that is not related to one of those three?” (p. 179) – It is worth saying that as I read this book my mind and heart struggled with old beliefs and religiousity, that to read something like what was just quoted, would be blasphemy. But I honestly must say that my heart vibes it’s core truth, which is God/Jesus didn’t come to form Christianity, He came to form a relationship with a Father in Heaven that loves me. The Jews were constantly bumping into old traditions that didn’t work for Jesus. They didn’t fit for Him. Relationship has to supercede religion. It did for Jesus, so it must for me. Religion is fallible. THE RELATIONSHIP is not!
“The whole thing is a process, not an event. All I want from you is to trust me with what little you can, and grow in loving people around you with the same love I share with you. It’s not your job to change them, or to convince them. You are free to love without an agenda.” (p. 181) I like this so much. I am free to be me and share my truth. I don’t have to go out and convert or change someone’s theology. I can just be Jeff and God can be God. Loving others is what I’ve always wanted to do freely anyway.
This book is a journey and it parallels my life to a tee. That’s why I think I vibed it so much.
If you’ve read this book, I’d love to hear your take on the above excerpts or whatever else you relate to concerning this book.
I really can’t believe almost 4 years has gone by since Pearlie and I entered the world of international adoption and the journey our lives have been on. I started this blog back then to connect and hopefully stay connected to the wonderful souls that were feeling the same feelings I was feeling and who could relate to my perceived successes and failures along the way. I’ve watched kids come home, along with mine, and kids that haven’t.
Kaia is my princess. I know, I hear you sighing. Really? A princess? Although we have yet to buy her any kind of dress up outfits or “princess dolls”, this girl has it in her “enjoyment Guatemalan DNA” that Princess’ Rock. She plays as rough and hard as her brother, but let me tell you, here heart is as fragile as a glass slipper. As a Dad, I often get torn with teaching both my kids on protecting vs. sharing their your heart. I’m a feeling guy and teaching my kids to feel their feelings, tell the truth, and trust in the process is tough if I have my doubts about all that.
Mateo is “chill”. He is only 4 months older than his sister, but sometimes it seems like he’s years older. His personality fits for being the older child. He’s a guardian and watches out for…everybody. Mateo, is an opposite reflection of how is sister is ALL girl, with him being ALL boy. His love for baseball and hockey was programmed into his head at an early age by me and his Mom spending hours watching these 2 sports in person and on T.V. So in case you were wondering, you can guide your kids interest, especially if they are the family’s interest.
It amazes me sometimes when I stop and think about it that these 2 are not biologically related. They are as adopted to each other as they are to us. Yet, spending 9 months together at Eagles Nest (orphanage in Guatemala), and now day in and day out in the same house, their bond and love for each other is thick. As babies they had their own “language”, before they could speak to us. And now as 3 year olds they read each other’s mind and finish each other’s sentences. They are as tight as I’d hoped they’d be…maybe more.
We’ve jumped right into it these last 3 years. Sometimes we landed on our feet and other times not. The best part of all this is that we ARE jumping…moving…living life and experimenting with how everything God lays out works in my life and theirs. It’s fun and I can’t stop laughing, crying, smiling, and loving.
I know…I know…I feel ya. I was so high on Facebook and now…no more “crackbook”. Honestly, I’m still looking for my cyberspace niche and as you can tell I’m reconstructing this blog to hopefully fit that. Shoot, I’m 40 years old and still learning new things about myself, so this follows par for me.
So I’m here at work, reading today’s newspaper and watching all the Inauguration coverage, between cases, and I can’t help but think about my 2 Guatemalan born children, that are now Americans. Regardless of what side of the political fence you’re on, today is “big”. If for any reason, just the peaceful transition of power that countries like Guatemala and it’s neighbors struggle with…a lot. The other things talked about have huge potential for change that will probably affect my kids more than me. That is what makes me think of Mateo and Kaia and their future in America. God only knows what the future holds for any country, but I like my country a whole lot…especially today.
