facebook…”schmacebook”

I know…I know…I feel ya. I was so high on Facebook and now…no more “crackbook”. Honestly, I’m still looking for my cyberspace niche and as you can tell I’m reconstructing this blog to hopefully fit that. Shoot, I’m 40 years old and still learning new things about myself, so this follows par for me.

My deal with all this Internet “sharing-my-life” stuff, whether it be Facebook, a blog, personal website, or whatever, is if it starts to get in my way of actually living my life, then WHAT IS THE POINT? It’s like that Jeff Foxworthy bit about rednecks – “You know you’re a ”cyberjunkie” when BEFORE you pour your morning coffee you’re checking ________ (fill in the blank with your website of choice). So I’ve asked myself what is it that I CRAVE so much that words, pictures, video, and “flair” just keep me glued to the screen for hours on end? So here is what I’ve found out about me…and it may fit for you too.

Having kids now for just 7.5 months has really “exposed” my lack of time management skills. Their routines and Pearlie’s ability to stay home helps, but life does not care about the what, when, and where’s that happen on any given day. So what about my TIME?…my employer requires it, my kids need it, my wife desires it, and my other family and friends want it…and me and God were made for it. At the end of the day, one or more of those gets sacrificed and I am finding that the Internet is getting more and more of it…with or without my consent. I am powerless.

But what is it about sharing my life, funny, serious, or neither and the reading and commenting on someone else’s that gets my juices flowing. It’s the relational thing. My kids “jones” for it when I walk thru the door in the evening. My kids aren’t inhibited yet, so they grab my leg and hang on for dear life…and that’s what having “present” parents and other people in their lives gives them…life. RELATIONSHIPS are as natural as breathing. And that is what I desire as I reach out and open up to folks via social networks. What I need to remember and start practicing is that sharing on a blog will NEVER fill the God-shaped-hole that is meant for deeper and more intimate relationships that are face-to-face, current, 2-way, openminded, and honest. The Internet just can’t satisfy that, despite the creative ways it tries to replicate relationships…hence,  my craving for others will never get satisfied unless I look at those folks around me and God first, and make sure those relationships are healthy before I step out and lend my heart to the electronic world and those relationships, real or imagined.

It is facinating to me how closely related TIME and RELATIONSHIPS are to each other, and at how throughout my day I find myself kicking them to the curb only to try and look for them later as my feelings warrant. They are probably 2 of my most valuable assets and they work best (they way they are suppose to) with God managing them. And the cool thing is that’s exactly what He wants to do.

So now that you’ve wasted the time to read this, what is my point and more directly what is my motivation to continue and go this route? I don’t know! I’m not even really saying l would never do Facebook again. But here is what I like and hope to share here on this blog:
1. photography – my creative juices flow the most when a shutter clicks. My only true hobby is photography…it helps me to learn to experience my life as a “chain of moments”. Most pictures will link to my Flickr site where my pictures reside.

2. my family – Pearlie (wife), Mateo (son), and Kaia (daughter) in pictures or video these 3 people crack me up. So why wouldn’t I share that?

3. and anything else relevant…my Preds, Cardinals, or whatever else tickles my fancy or better yet whatever “road” I’m traveling on a given day and the things God is showing me out the window.

Rock on friends!!!

*above photo* – Mateo and Kaia joined Pearlie and I for the last home game of the Nashville Predators. We had a blast this year watching the Preds and look forward to being loyal fans for years to come.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

 

…and here we GO!!!

As we prepare to leave the comforts of our home and U.S.A., I wanted to drop a note of…”see you soon.”

Our timeline that started in November of 2005 has now come to 35 months later, and unfortunately I can’t describe the feelings turning around inside of me, so you are going to have to refer to your own experience to tell you a little about mine. It’s not so much that I have the specific desire to explain or describe those feelings, it’s just that I’m not only writing this for you but for me and my kids, and I recognize an important evening when I experience it.

I am 40 years old (8/30) and tomorrow my life will be different…and here we GO!!! God’s plan for my life has just been amp’d up a notch (and in this case) or two.

Pearlie, my Mom, and I fly to Guatemala City tomorrow and can’t wait to see Mateo and Kaia. Kaia was sooo small and little when we last saw her, at only a week and a half old. And Mateo, well, he’s a big boy…still. Almost 9 months later and our 2 little ones are toddlers and growing fast. I can’t wait to get to know them and for them to know me…their Dad. Me and Pearlie got to meet for an hour or so with Ginger, our case worker, and go over our paperwork to be sure we had and understood everything related to our embassy appointment. It was great to meet her in person, put a face to a voice, and when we were done, give her a hug for all she has done for our adoption. We have grown to love the Boggs’ as part of our family and that includes everyone, from EN staff, to office folks. And yes, my fellow “Guat Adoption” friends, you are a part of us too. It looks like we will hook up with the Kings, while we are down there, and meet them…that will be awesome too. More will be revealed and shared…that’s for sure…stay tuned, and close to God’s plan for you, because it’s right in front of you and me, it now is a matter of am I willing to step out and into IT.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers the rest of the week as we have our embassy appointment and stop by and see Pearlie’s parents in Ft. Lauderdale on our way home. Rock On friends…we ARE!!!

john 13:7

Spiritual awakenings…I dig ’em…and it appears they usually occur for me in hindsight.

It’s true, as I look back on my day, my week, my past, my life, I see this and Jesus knew I would be experiencing these times…looking back…not with shame or regret, but willingness to learn, humility, and growth. Check it out for yourself – John 13:7

Jesus looked at him (Peter) and said, Right now you don’t understand why I’m doing this, but after I’m gone you will.

                                                                                                       – The Clear Word Bible

I’m in the process of putting my print photos into digital form and finding some means to organize and store them, I came across these photos and had to share. I love my wife, Pearlie, and I love that we have so many GREAT memories of our courtship and marriage. Our life together started out at Southern College…now Southern Adventist University, and my best friend and I will have been together 19 years in December.

         

this is just the beginning…

Have I mentioned I’m turning 40 this year?:)
I don’t feel 40, that is for sure. My life is really just starting in relation to many different things. If you would have asked me 20 years ago what my life would look like at 40 I am pretty sure my answers would be very different to how things actually are in my life today. I thought I would share by writing on the area of Pearlie’s and my plan for a family, and how that has changed from my “ideal” to God’s reality. For each you will see My ideal, followed by the reality God has lovingly shown to me….and I’m sure, STILL is showing me. I see this as just the beginning to what God has in store to teach me, through our adoption of Mateo and Kaia….and that is pretty exciting.

First you need to know, that since Pearlie’s first bone marrow transplant (1991), we have known that for us to have a family it would HAVE to come from the “adoption system”.

 ADOPTION

Adoption, is something really straightforward with structure, organization, and precise timelines. → Adoption is really just like any other attempted planned pregnancy. There are months that go by that it “for sure” is going to be a reality, only to wait again for the weeks to tick on by to try again or wait and see. The agencies that do adoptions are just people that connect me to my children and “help” the process by “managing paperwork and using their experience.” They really don’t have the pull I thought they would, nor are they able to predict the process.

The Dollar amount is set…no hidden fees….no additional costs. Everything will be layed out before me and I can budget from there. → Dollars are flying out of my pocket for this adoption, faster than I can put them in. Things change and they usually do around the money or cost of this “deal”…and they sure have for us…especially since we started in one country (Nicaragua) and moved to Guatemala.

Others just don’t understand what Pearlie and I have been through….married 13+ years (when we started this latest ”process” – we’ll celebrate 16 in August), Pearlie going through 2 BMTs (the last and providing a cure was 4/20/1996), permanent infertility, poor grieving, my recovery, and lots of questions that it appeared God was ignoring. → Others know EXACTLY what we have been through and what we are going through today. They relate, understand, and most of all share their experience, strength, and hope relating what God is and has shown to them not only about adoption, but marriage, grieving, spiritual growth, and living life fully. I love you people, because I hear God speaking to me through your typed or spoken words and that is super cool and greatly appreciated.

Pearlie and I are Prepared and ready for this adoption and starting a family…after all, I’m adopted, we’re older and wiser, and our life’s journey has paved a road of readiness that points to now. → Preparedness turns out not to be the lesson (’cause just like in pregnancy and family planning, we could never be prepared enough), but Patience is. I have never been patient….I want what I want, when I want it. I have to make myself not cut in front of the slow person in line that is digging through their wallet or purse to find whatever it is that they need at that moment in time (phone, money, gun, etc.). You know what I’m saying. Even writing this blog right now I’m getting impatient and want it to just be done. Sorry folks brutal honesty alert here!!! God’s showing me more and more how I just need to sssslllllloooowwwww done and let His timing turn into my timing. And then, like a couple dancing, we are in step and rhythm in our divine embrace.

Time wise, this adoption will take a year MAX. → The Timing of this adoption is probably what I surrender most, because I struggle with it so much. It stirs up fear and anger like nothing else, so of course God sees His opportunity to teach and I’m listening. What He’s telling me is, “Jeff, my timing IS, and you can be either accepting and have peace and “understanding” or controlling and have “craziness”, emotional “roller coaster riding” (but I love rollercoasters), and “self-centered” questioning via “the whys.” So, I’m still listening and learning and waiting and waiting……and while I’m waiting I’m preparing and growing in patience and faith and courage and acceptance and love and……(______) – fill in the blank. 

I Imagined the day I would meet my kids as a moment in time that would forever be special. → My Imagination did not even come close to how awesome those moments were as I looked at each one and held them in my arms for the 1st time. I was numb and didn’t even know it as I tried to soak it all in. That time at Eagles Nest was so special. I met and played with other kids and my reality changed to not just my 2 kids there, but the other 60+ as I saw pictures of their families hanging over their cribs and met many of you that way. It opened my world and mostly my heart to the orphan…to what loneliness could be without God, family, and friends to love and love me, and how much I want to leave this world and go HOME.

Adoption will be an Opportunity to provide a child(ren) with a home and Pearlie and me with a family. → God’s Opportunity to show His Will in my life is endless. God’s opportunity to be glorified and praised does not stop with me….it flows out to everyone hearing this story and carries a message of hope, mercy, and grace that is so Him. His Will is just right as He invites me to participate in a much greater mission than an adoption of a little boy and girl. My job then is to ready myself TODAY and be open to the opportunity His Will is offering to me right now in the moment…ie – my will matching God’s Will. AAAHHHH HHHHAAAA, a good teacher teaches some of the best “lessons” when the student doesn’t even notice, or know he’s learning, or changing, or growing. Very cool God!

This adoption addresses our Need for a family and desire for children to love, care for, teach, and just enjoy life with. → I have no clue of my Needs. I am definitely in close touch with my wants, but my needs beyond Maslow’s hierarchy are pretty much turned over…it is just easier that way, I’m finding. My expections are triggered less when I don’t attach a need to something. The adoption(s) will not fill the hole in my heart…that is God-shaped only. He occupies it daily if I invite Him in. The cool thing is that Mateo and Kaia already have a place in my heart and those spots are just theirs and waiting and ready to be filled. It’s funny and sometimes confusing because both places feel similiar, but like a child working a puzzle, it takes a few tries to fit something in the wrong spot to teach me, and God is always there and I love that and I love Him.

seriously…i want a mac!

7 months until the big 4-0.
August 30….here I come.
I don’t think I’ve ever looked forward to a birthday more.
I don’t think I look or act like I’m going to be 40 either - so am I really?
I want a MAC…I hope Pearlie reads this!!!
Here’s why  - ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

My nephew is a MAN…

Where has the time gone? I was going through some pictures I needed to edit before posting them on Flickr. I came across this one of me and Jason (top right) from the week of Christmas when he and Shannon came to visit. I love him so much…. Back in the day, 1985, he could sit on my knee comfortably (top left). I don’t think I want to try that today, I’ve already had on ACL repaired (no, I wasn’t a professional athlete….shut up, Steve). He’s got a beard now (below). I think it’s a Colorado thing (he lives in Denver)…or maybe not, it does looks cool. I wish I could grow a beard, I can’t and I’m almost 40 (the countdown ticks on). WHATS UP WITH THAT??? Love ya Jas!!